Maude & Claude....too funny!

[Mermaid]

My Aunt emailed me this...thought I would share as it is funny! :D

Something to look forward to!

Maude and Claude, both 91, lived in a retirement community. They met in
the social center and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other's
company.

After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked Maude out for
dinner and much to his delight, she accepted.

They had a lovely evening. They dined at the most romantic restaurant in
town. And despite his age, Claude was still a charmer. Afterward, Claude
asked Maude to join him at his place for an after-dinner drink.

Things continued along a natural course and age being no inhibitor, Maude
soon joined Claude for a most enjoyable roll in the hay.

As they were basking in the glow of the magic moments they'd shared, each
was lost for a time in their own thoughts.

Claude was thinking: "If I'd known she was a virgin, I'd have been more
gentle".

Maude was thinking: "If I'd known he could still do it, I'd have taken off
my pantyhose."

Now if that doesn't get at least a grin I give up!!

[DoUJuana]

:eek: :roll:

[Amber Trich]

:D Nice one Mermaid lol

[marymaryquitecntrary]

:lol: mermaid! thanks for the belly-laugh! :D

[wawona]

long, gray "curlies/swirlies" everywhere :roll: :roflmao: :confused:

:animbong: wa

[Mermaid]

:roflmao:@Wa....ewwww grey curly/swirleies!!! :eek: :p

....glad you all got a giggle out of that joke as I did. :D

[Tiberon]

Heres one that I have to remember from memory...so bare with me.
Same maude and claud peeps though.

So once upon a time LOL, there was a young man in a cafe eating.
He was sitting next to two older folks....were talkin 75ish. And he over hears claud say to maude
"remember were we first met?" says claude
"yes...yes I do...it was here" claude says
"remember goin out back and playin hide the pecker"? asks claude.
"oh yes claude...those were the days"
"well, for old times sake lets go out back and get frisky" claude says

So the old couple gets up and walks out of the cafe headed around the back. The young man beside them chuckles and tries to picture the two old people goin at it. He wondered if it could be done at that age. His curiosity was killin him so he went out the cafe and followed the old couple around the building.
Sure enough....he sees the two old folks over by the fence. The lil ol lady hikes up her skirt and bends over. Claude drops his drawers and grabs claudes hips then grabs the fence.....

and what that young man saw for the next 40 min was spectacular. The lil ol dude pumped and pumped like it was goin out of style. The young man had never seen two old people screw and he was quite impressed.
After the 40 mins the old couple drops to the ground exhausted. It was clear that they both were very tired after that marathon.
The young man...quite embarrassed....waits till the couple gets up and get their cloths on before walking overthere.

"excuse me folks, I just couldnt help but notice you two by the fence when I came around. That was fantastic. I hope that when Im your age I can shag like that."

The old man looks ups and says son

"40 yrs ago.....that fucking fence wasnt electrified"

[Sparky]

:roll: @ Tibs

THAT was funny. :D

[Mermaid]

:roflmao: @Tibs.....good one!

[DoUJuana]

hehehee :roll:

Both are hilarious!!