Go Back   420 Genetics > The Daily Chronic > Smokers Lounge
Home Forum Grow Guides Gallery Strain Guides Links Arcade Rules
Site Map Register FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Smokers Lounge Stoner Alley - Fire One Up and Chat

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #31  
Old 04-02-2007, 03:54 AM
newf newf is offline
In the Flowering Stages

Bud of the Month
Bud of the Month 
Total Awards: 1

 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: canada
Posts: 1,037
Country:
Current Mood:
Default

A Scotsman, an Englishman and a Newfoundlander were sitting in a bar
>>>> in Toronto .
>>>> The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, the food exceptional.
>>>> "As good as this is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs
>>>> back home.
>>>> In Glasgow , there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord
>>>> goes out of his way for the locals.
>>>> When you buy four drinks, he will buy the fifth drink for you."
>>>> >>
>>>> "Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "At my local in London , the
>>>> Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the
>>>> first two."
>>>> "Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said the Newfie.
>>>> "Back home in Sin Jahn's there's the Codfish Bar. The moment you
>>>> set foot in the place,
>>>> they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like,
>>>> actually.
>>>> Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and
>>>> see dat you gets laid, all on the house!"
>>>>
>>>> "Well," said the Englishman, still suspicious. "Did this actually
>>>> happen to you?"
>>>>
>>>> "Not meeself, personally, no," admitted the Newf. "But it did
>>>> happen to me sister quite a few times."
>
__________________
<img src=" title=":bs:" /> <img src=" title=":bs:" /> <img src=" title=":bs:" /> <img src=" title=":bs:" /> <img src=" title=":bs:" /> <img src=" title=":bs:" /> <img src=" title=":bs:" />
Reply With Quote
  #32  
Old 04-05-2007, 04:59 PM
newf newf is offline
In the Flowering Stages

Bud of the Month
Bud of the Month 
Total Awards: 1

 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: canada
Posts: 1,037
Country:
Current Mood:
Default

Little Melissa comes from Chance Cove Newfoundland and attends first grade. After school she tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day.

"Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint, I was wondering if I gave a Valentine to someone who was not , will God get mad at me for giving them a valentine?"

Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a Valentine to?"

"Osama Bin Laden," she says.

"Why Osama Bin Laden," her father asks in shock.

"Well," she says, "I thought that if a little Newfoundland Christian girl could have enough love to give Osama a Valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit And if other kids saw what I did and sent Valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."

Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with new-found pride.
"Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."

"I know," Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open, our Canadian Soldiers can shoot the fucker."
__________________
<img src=" title=":bs:" /> <img src=" title=":bs:" /> <img src=" title=":bs:" /> <img src=" title=":bs:" /> <img src=" title=":bs:" /> <img src=" title=":bs:" /> <img src=" title=":bs:" />
Reply With Quote
  #33  
Old 04-07-2007, 12:18 PM
canaseed canaseed is offline
A New Sprout
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 11
Country:
Talking Pothead

- Stoned head died and went to hell. He opened his eyes and he sees of a huge marijuana field. Tons and tons of high quality juicy buds around him. He cannot believe his eyes. Suddenly, he sees another Stonehead. He runs towards him. And asks him in an astonished voice: "is this really hell? I always thought hell is lava and fire."
- The other Stonehead starts yelling: "Fire, Fire! You have Fire? We don't have fire here..."
Reply With Quote
  #34  
Old 04-12-2007, 12:28 AM
newf newf is offline
In the Flowering Stages

Bud of the Month
Bud of the Month 
Total Awards: 1

 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: canada
Posts: 1,037
Country:
Current Mood:
Default

The love story of Ralph and Edna:-

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean
they don't love you with all they have.

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph
suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and
stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him
out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she
immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now
considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and
bad news.

The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally
respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you
love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

The bad news is, Ralph, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt
right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.

Edna replied, He didn't hang himself - I put him there to dry.

How soon can I go home?
__________________
<img src=" title=":bs:" /> <img src=" title=":bs:" /> <img src=" title=":bs:" /> <img src=" title=":bs:" /> <img src=" title=":bs:" /> <img src=" title=":bs:" /> <img src=" title=":bs:" />
Reply With Quote
  #35  
Old 04-16-2007, 03:31 AM
newf newf is offline
In the Flowering Stages

Bud of the Month
Bud of the Month 
Total Awards: 1

 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: canada
Posts: 1,037
Country:
Current Mood:
Default

THE BATHTUB TEST
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and
>>>>this should help get you started.
>>>>
>>>>During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what
>>>>the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be
>>>>institutionalized.
>>>>
>>>>"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a
>>>>teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to
>>>>empty the bathtub."
>>>>
>>>>"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the
>>>>bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
>>>>
>>>>"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you
>>>>want
a bed near the window?"
>>>>
>>>>DID YOU PASS, OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE?
__________________
<img src=" title=":bs:" /> <img src=" title=":bs:" /> <img src=" title=":bs:" /> <img src=" title=":bs:" /> <img src=" title=":bs:" /> <img src=" title=":bs:" /> <img src=" title=":bs:" />
Reply With Quote
  #36  
Old 04-18-2007, 10:10 PM
newf newf is offline
In the Flowering Stages

Bud of the Month
Bud of the Month 
Total Awards: 1

 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: canada
Posts: 1,037
Country:
Current Mood:
Default

Weenie Test:
>
>
>
> Three third graders from Tennessee (an Irish kid, an Italian kid
and a
> Redneck kid) are on the play ground at recess.
>
> The Irish kid suggests that they play a new game. "Let's see who
has
> the
> largest weenie," he says.
>
> "Okay." They all agree.
>
> The Italian kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out.
>
> "That's nothing," says the Irish kid. He whips his out and
> proudly
> shows
> that his is at least an inch longer.
>
> Not to be outdone, the Redneck kid whips his out. It is by far
not
> only the
> biggest, but the fattest.
>
> That night, eating dinner at home, the Redneck kid's mother asks
him
> what he
> did at school today.
>
> "Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out
> loud from
> a new book and then during recess, my friends and I played a new
game
> called "Let's see who has the largest weenie."
>
> "What kind of game is that, honey?" asks the mother.
>
> "Well, me, Anthony and Patrick each pulled out our weenies and I
had
> the
> biggest! The other kids say it's because I'm a Redneck. Is that
> true,
> Mom?"
>
> Mom replies, "No, Honey. It's because you're twenty-one!!
__________________
<img src=" title=":bs:" /> <img src=" title=":bs:" /> <img src=" title=":bs:" /> <img src=" title=":bs:" /> <img src=" title=":bs:" /> <img src=" title=":bs:" /> <img src=" title=":bs:" />
Reply With Quote
  #37  
Old 04-19-2007, 06:52 AM
hushpuppy420's Avatar
hushpuppy420 hushpuppy420 is offline
In the Veg Cycle
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 467
Country:
Current Mood:
Style: Dark Blue
Default

these are great!!!
Reply With Quote
  #38  
Old 04-22-2007, 02:40 AM
stromelk's Avatar
stromelk stromelk is offline
In the Veg Cycle
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Northwestern Ontario
Posts: 322
Country:
Current Mood:
Default

An Australian, an Irishman and a Newfie are in a bar. They're
>>staring at another man, suddenly the Irishman says, "It's Jesus!"
>>
>>Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint. Thrilled, they send him
>>over a pint Of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a Bottle of Molson
>>Canadian. Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men,
>>and drinks the pints slowly, one after another.
>>
>>After he's finished the drinks, Jesus Approaches the trio.
>>
>>He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him
>>for the Guinness. When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of
>>amazement, "My God! The arthritis I've had for 30 years is gone.
>>It's a miracle!"
>>
>>Jesus then shakes the Aussie's hand, thanking him for the lager.
>>As he let s go, the man's eyes widen in shock. "Strewth mate, the
>>bad back I've had all my life is completely gone! It's a miracle."
>>
>>Jesus then approaches the Newfie who knocks over a chair and a
>>table in trying to get away from the Son of God.
>>
>>"What's wrong my son?" asked Jesus.
>>
>>The Newfie shouts, "Fuck off, I'm on workers compensation."
Reply With Quote
  #39  
Old 04-22-2007, 02:42 AM
stromelk's Avatar
stromelk stromelk is offline
In the Veg Cycle
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Northwestern Ontario
Posts: 322
Country:
Current Mood:
Default

Cajun Pregnancy
>
> Way down in Louisiana, Boudreaux's old lady had been pregnant for Some
> time
> and now the time had come. So he brought her to the doctor and The doctor
> began to deliver the baby.
>
> She had a little boy and the doctor looked over at Boudreaux and
> Said,"Hey,
> Boudreaux! You just had you-self a son! Ain't dat grand!"
>
> Boudreaux got excited by this, but just then the doctor spoke up and
> said,"Hold on! We ain't finished yet!" The doctor then delivered a little
> girl. He said, "Hey, Boudreaux! You got you-self a daughter!
> She a pretty lil ting, too."
>
> Boudreaux got kind of puzzled by this and then the doctor said, "Holdon,we
> still ain't got done yet!" The doctor then delivered another boy and said,
> "Boudreaux, you just had you-self another boy!"
>
> When Boudreaux and his wife went home with their three children, he Sat
> down
> with his wife and said, "Mama, you remember dat night what we Run out of
> Vaseline and we had to use dat dere tree-in-one Oil?"
>
> His wife said, "Yeah, I do!"
>
> Boudreaux said, "Man, it's a dang good ting we didn't use no WD-forty."
>
Reply With Quote
  #40  
Old 04-22-2007, 02:43 AM
stromelk's Avatar
stromelk stromelk is offline
In the Veg Cycle
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Northwestern Ontario
Posts: 322
Country:
Current Mood:
Default

Husband and wife in bed together.
She feels his hand rubbing her shoulder.
She: "Oh, that feels good."
His hand moves to her breast.
She: "Gee, honey, that feels wonderful."
His hand moves to her leg.
She: "Oh, honey, don't stop."
But he stops.
She: "Why did you stop?"
He: "I found the remote."
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump



All times are GMT +1. The time now is 01:22 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright (c) 2005 - 2013 420Genetics.com - All Rights Reserved
Page generated in 0.16761 seconds with 25 queries