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  #41  
Old 04-23-2007, 01:36 AM
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Mary Jane Mary Jane is offline
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Lmao.... that's when I snatch the remote and chunk it across the room hoping to bust the tele! My man will not feel me up looking for a damn remote and then stop expecting to watch the tv? Haha... No tv for you!
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  #42  
Old 04-27-2007, 03:23 PM
newf newf is offline
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This little boy and his grandfather are fishing. Granddad pulls out
>>a beer and the little boy says "Grandpa, can I have one of those?"
>>Grandpa says "Is your penis big enough to touch your asshole?" to
>>which the little boy responds "No." "Then you can't have one."
>>
>>A while later, the granddad pulls out a cigar and the boy asks,
>>"Can I have on of those?" Grandpa says "Is your penis big enough to
>>touch your asshole?" to which the little boy responds "No." "Then
>>you can't have one."
>>Later on, Grandpa and Grandson go to the grocery store for food and
>>each buy a lottery ticket. Grandpa is unlucky, but the little boy
>>says "I just won $50,000"
>>Grandpa says, "Great, your going to split that with me, right?" The
>>little boy asks, "Grandpa, is your penis long enough to touch your
>>asshole?" "Yes," Says grandpa.
>>
>>"Then go fuck yourself!
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  #43  
Old 04-27-2007, 03:26 PM
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LMAO.... Good one!!!
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  #44  
Old 04-27-2007, 03:27 PM
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Good one Newf!
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  #45  
Old 04-27-2007, 09:54 PM
newf newf is offline
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Subject: The Harpers
>> >> >
>> >> > Laureen Harper called "Steve" into her office one day and
>> >>said,"Stephen,
>> >> > I have a great idea! I know how we can win back Newfoundland &
>> >>Labrador
>> >> > and
>> >> > secure your majority victory in 2007."
>> >> >
>> >> > "Great, but how do you propose we go about that, askedStephen?
>> >> >
>> >> > Well, Laureen responded, we'll go down to Wal-Mart,get some
>> >>funny clothes
>> >> > and shoes like most Newfoundlanders wear and then we'll stop at
>> >>the pound
>> >> > and pick up a Newfoundland dog. When we look the part we'll go
>> >>to a nice
>> >> > old
>> >> > bar in one of the bays close to St.John's, and we'll show them
>> >>that we
>> >> > really
>> >> > enjoy the Newfoundland countryside and show admiration and
>> >>respect for the
>> >> > hard working people living there".
>> >> >
>> >> > A few days later, all decked out and with the Newfoundland dog
>> >>in tow,
>> >> > they
>> >> > set off from Ottawa to St.John's in the Govt jet. They rented a
>> >>car and
>> >> > traveled to Torbay. With the dog , they walk nto Liddy's. They
>> >>stepped up
>> >> > to
>> >> > the bar and the bartender took a step back and said, " aren't
>> >>yee Stephen
>> >> > and
>> >> > Laureen Harper ?"
>> >> >
>> >> > Laureen answered, "yes we are,and what a lovely Little town you
>> >>have here.
>> >> > "
>> >> > We were just passing through and Stephen suggested that we stop
>> >>and take
>> >> > in some local color." They then ordered a couple of screech and
>> >>pepsi from
>> >> > the bartender and proceeded to drink them down, all the while
>> >>chatting up
>> >> > a
>> >> > storm
>> >> > with anyone who would listen.
>> >> >
>> >> > All of a sudden, the bar room door opens and a fisherman comes
>> >>in. He
>> >> > walked
>> >> > up to the Newfoundland dog, lifts it's tail and looked
>> >>underneath,
>> >> > shrugged
>> >> > his shoulders and walked out the door. A few moments later,in
>> >>came another
>> >> > old
>> >> > fisherman. He walked up to the dog, lifted it's tail, looked
>> >>underneath,
>> >> > scratched his head, then left the bar.
>> >> >
>> >> > Over the course of the next hour or so, another four or five
>> >>fisherman
>> >> > came
>> >> > in, lifted the dog's tail, and went away looking puzzled.
>> >> >
>> >> > Eventually Laureen and Stephen could stand it no longer and
>> >>called the
>> >> > bartender over. "Tell me" said Laureen, "why did all those old
>> >>fishermen
>> >> > come in and look under the dog's tail like that? Is it some
>> >>sort of
>> >> > oldcustom?"
>> >> >
>> >> > "Jesus no," said the bartender. One of the boys told them,
>> >>there was a
>> >> > Newfoundland dog in Liddy's with two arse-holes!".
>> >> >
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  #46  
Old 04-28-2007, 01:54 AM
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Bilbo_Baggins Bilbo_Baggins is offline
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When was the last time you got to say........
check out the pic...lol
Till next time
Bilbo
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  #47  
Old 04-28-2007, 03:02 AM
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stromelk stromelk is offline
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Good one Bilbo!
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  #48  
Old 04-28-2007, 02:20 PM
newf newf is offline
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good for you strom,, gross to me,lol,, thanks bilbo,,, thats what i needed to see first thing in the morning :nutkick:
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  #49  
Old 04-28-2007, 04:41 PM
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Bilbo_Baggins Bilbo_Baggins is offline
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Glad I could help Newf!!!

Till next time
Bilbo
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  #50  
Old 05-04-2007, 07:25 PM
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Why Parents Drink
>
> A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his
> bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an
> envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to
> "Dad." With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with
> trembling hands and read the letter.
>
>
>
>
>
> Dear Dad:
> It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to
> elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with
> mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so
> nice.
>
> But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing,
> tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older
> than I am. But it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant. Stacy
> said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and
> has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of
> having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that
> marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for
> ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for
> cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will
> find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.
>
> Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday
> I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know
> your grandchildren.
>
>
> Love,
> Your Son John
>
>
>
> PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just
> wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the
> report card that's in my center desk drawer.
>
> I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.
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